Negotiating the Swing

I had forgotten what it means to be the parent of a newborn. For one thing, it means bouncing your little one everywhere. And, at least for me, when my little girl is on my lap, my legs are in permanent vibrate mode. It's all about keeping her from crying and for some reason they respond well to vibrating legs.

There are more advanced feats, however, but these aren't for the faint of heart. I accomplished one of them this evening and was so proud of myself you'd swear I'd just passed the bar all over again. This task requires the delicate hands of a surgeon, the wisdom of Solomon, and the patience of that guy from Edgar Allen Poe's "The Tell Tale Heart" who spent an entire hour creeping into the bedroom of the man he decided to kill. The challenge? Moving a sleeping baby from your arms to the swing while keeping her asleep.

The first requirement is to get the child to sleep, which as I alluded to previously requires an awful lot of bouncing, and with Emily, bouncing while walking around the room (she's often not content to be seated). I perfected the arm position with Jared, having Emily lie on her stomach on my forearm, with the lower part of my palm applying a small amount of pressure to her stomach (for burping purposes).

(Try to ignore the half-eaten fudgcicle)

Once she falls asleep, there are decisions to make: Where do we try to put her down? Is she asleep enough to be put down? Who has to deal with her if the attempt fails? How do you deal with the parent who ends up having the take the baby when the attempt fails? Just how lucky are you feeling?

I came to that point this evening, and decided I'd try to put her in the swing. When the maneuver is succesfully done, Emily will continue to sleep for hours rocking back and forth. One false move, though, and her eyes open up, she spends a few minutes contently looking around, and then starts to wail.

There are obstacles too. For instance, one has to figure out how to put Emily in the swing, keep her sleeping peacefully, while strapping her in to the swing. Try to be too hasty and she wakes up almost immediately. Instead, to be successful, she must be rocked in the swing while strapping her in, which requires a coordination that can perhaps only be acquired through hours and hours of playing video games.

The speed of the swing also has to be right, and then you have to figure out what to do about head support, lest the little one start flopping her head around and wake up.

Tonight I managed to negotiate all of those elements succesfully, seamlessly transferring Emily in her slumbering state into the swing. Behold!



[great, I spoke too soon...I forgot to put a blanket on her legs, she startled a few times, and woke up. Curse that startle reflex!]