Super Disappointment

Superman Returns opened this weekend, and I was desperate enough last night that I snuck* out by myself to see it.  I’ve never been to a movie alone, and it wasn’t supposed to be so last night.  When my friend flaked, though, I was still quite anxious to see it. So I braved it alone. Not even my Peanut M&Ms to keep me company – I’ve sworn off sugar for two weeks.

My loneliness, however, was easily overcome by my excitement for the movie.

Ah, but I left the movie disappointed, and I started to sense this from the beginning.  For one, Brandon Routh seems far too young to be taking on the role of Superman – at least not without beginning the whole series over again (and this one takes place five years after Superman II).

Routh, too, hardly has the charisma Christopher Reeve did.  His attempts at humor as Superman (which Reeve pulled off so well) felt stiff and forced, and his take on Clark Kent terribly bland.  He looks the part (though a bit young), but that’s about it.

I was sorely missing Gene Hackman too.  His Lex Luthor was loveably evil – conniving but still endearing.  Kevin Spacey’s Lex Luthor is just plain mean.

A few other major problems I have with the movie (which, if you are aching to see the movie and not have it spoiled, you might want to avoid – though in the several reviews I’ve read I’m not revealing any more of the plot than they did, or than the trailers do):

• How is it that Superman’s suit is apparently impervious to bullets at one point (bouncing of his chest and making no marks, tears, or scratches on the suit), and then later, while Superman is exposed to Kryptonite, Lex Luthor is able to take a piece of Kryptonite and stab Superman – through the suit?  Shouldn’t the suit still be impenetrable? Or are we supposed to understand that the suit loses its properties too when exposed to Kryptonite?  Am I the only one who thinks about this and sees the contradiction?


• So apparently, as a result of what happened in Superman II, Lois Lane had Superman’s baby.  And she knows it was Superman’s.  But, at the end of Superman II, Superman kissed Lois that had the fortunate effect of making her forget everything that had taken place (i.e. She discover’s Clark Kent’s true identity, they fall in love, he takes her to the fortress of solitude and gives up his powers for her, then has to take them back).  Because of this, it doesn’t make sense that she would know who the father is if it was Superman.

Perhaps this is quibbling to the rest.  The movie still has its exciting moments, and if pressed I’d say I’m happier having seen it than if I hadn’t seen it.  That seems to be the least possible good one can say about a movie, though, and I was aching to enjoy it at least as much as I enjoyed Batman Begins.

* Of course, I didn’t literally “sneak” out – I had permission – as long as I vacuumed the living room first.