Michelle can tell you that few things are worse than someone spoiling the ending of a Harry Potter book while you are in the middle of it.* Our recent Utah trip made me witness to two different instances where a group discussing the latest Harry Potter book, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, ruined the ending for people who had not read it yet. Both scenes were certainly tragic, though I felt a morbid sense of comedy and entertainment.
In the first, my family was gathered round our living room talking about Book 6 with a visitor. I can't remember how well aware we were or not that my sister Alisha hadn't yet finished the book, though she seemed to be in and out of the conversation for those few minutes. At one point my Dad, who has not even read the book (but seems to delight in knowing the major plot development), spoke loudly enough about what happens at the end that we heard a shriek from a nearby hallway, followed by Alisha verbally assaulting my father for several minutes before sinking into despondency and wondering out loud if she should even finish the book. Then there was my dad, feebly trying to find some reason he should be absolved of any wrong doing (though he wasn't the first--just the loudest).
The second time was at a pre-wedding luncheon. There, Michelle and I were discussing certain elements of the book with our friend Matt, quite aware that his brother sitting next to us had 100 pages or so to go. Matt's wife, Laura, however entered the conversation midway through, apparently unaware of her brother-in-law's place in the book. Once she spoiled the book for Eric, he settled into despondency much quicker than Alisha. Laura understandably got a little red with embarrassment, but then also tried to find some reason for feeling not so bad about herself.
It's at that moment when I perhaps turned to the dark side by deciding that the great discourtesy in both situations, was not Dad's and Laura's loose lips, but Alisha and Eric's failure to read the book in a timely manner, and still associating with the rest of us. Their slothfulness (for there can be no other reason for such delay) robs the rest of us of the chance to discuss the book freely, when the details are freshest in our minds, and when we feel the most need for corroboration and consolation through conversation. Instead, we're either forced to refrain from discussing anything interesting all together, or secret away and talk in whispers with the rest as though we fear to do some great wrong. By the time the lolly-gaggers catch up with us, our memories are dim, the excitement is mostly gone, and we have little to say.
I have decided to take it as my rule that you have at most three weeks to read the book from when it comes out, or you bear the risk of having the book spoiled. Three weeks itself seems like a rather generous allotment of time, but is meant to accomodate the slow reader, or the person who is otherwise busy (for those not so burdened, even a week may be too long). To the rest of you, do not cry foul if you happen to be part of conversations that gives away key plot points. If you are keen on not having the book spoiled, remove yourself from the table or the room at first mention of the book! Hide yourself in your bedroom and under your pillow if you fear someone may speak too loudly! Above all, though, read the blasted book! The rest of us will not be held responsible for anything tragic that may spill over from our conversations.
(Obviously, though, I'm still trying to harden myself to the above. Just by the fact that I've still not mentioned the key plot point in this or any other post, one can sense the softness. If you are reading this and still haven't read the book, though, you have had fair warning. My next post may just be about the book--if by that time I still have any interest in discussing it. If I don't, I blame you for that.)
*Of course, nothing is worse than a sore throat.
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