The Devil's Candy (Corn)

I fell for it again.





Every year Halloween rolls around, and every year I start craving candy corn. It’s been no different this year.

The cravings started a few days ago. I started looking out for candy corn sales at Ralph’s. I even went next store to CVS, hoping to find something under $1.00. Then, two nights ago, I even managed to come up with a reason to make a just-before-the-kids’-bedtime-trip to Target looking for a similar deal. [I was disappointed -- $1.75 for a bag of candy corn is highway robbery]. Yesterday, Michelle overheard me whispering instructions to Jared on the phone: he was supposed to pester Mommy into buying me candy corn.

Miracle of miracles, she bought me some. And I ate it. I ate just about all of it.

And here’s the thing about candy corn: it doesn’t taste very good. Oh, the first few kernels almost taste delightful. The waxy sugar – and it’s all sugar – melts between your teeth, possibly changes the color of your tongue, and seems distinguished more by the prospect of tasting good than of actually tasting good. So you take another handful. It’s a little bit tastier, but still unfulfilling. Better try another handful. This continues indefinitely until one reaches the sugar saturation point – the point at which your body cannot tolerate even one more waxy kernel. With every handful comes the hope of tasting better, yet after the second handful, it ends up tasting worse and worse. Yet on that downward slope, I keep eating -- hoping the next handful will taste as good as the first or second (note how, at this point, I’ve given up on it actually tasting good).

This is the take home point: of all the candy and sugar related treats I’ve ever binged on, candy corn leaves me feeling the worst.

Don’t ask me to explain why I keep eating it, ‘cause I can’t. The bag is open. The bag is in front of me. And my hand reaches for the bag. There seems to be something devilish about that corn (no wonder it’s the quintessential Halloween candy).

But lest you be fooled, there’s nothing cathartic about this post. As I surely as I tell you now it’s the devil’s candy (or maybe the devil’s corn), as surely I can tell you I’ll be craving it again tomorrow.

Yeah, Happy Halloween to you too.