Singing Christmas Carols in July

Every year around Late October/Early November we face a dilemma in the Clark household: When to start playing Christmas Music?

There are two competing factions:

1. My Mission President: President Checketts was fond of telling us that he could never understand why we didn't feel more comfortable singing Christmas Carols in July. If we were celebrating the birth and life of the Savior, we should be more comfortable singing the sacred songs all year round.
2. My Wife: Michelle has always revolted at the thought of playing Christmas music in July. For her, Christmas music is inappropriate until after Thanksgiving dinner*. Previous to this year, every time I've tried playing Christmas Music before then, she shrieks and gives a look of utter disgust before insisting I turn it off (or making my life unbearable until I do). Her reply to President Checketts' argument was always something akin to "It's just not right!" (How on Earth are you supposed to respond to such an argument?)

Of course, I have almost always found it unwise to disagree with my Mission President, and throughout my mission and the years since I've taken his addage as my rule. But the truth is, I could only ever get myself to agree with him in principle. If I actually heard Christmas Carols in July, you might actually have seen me cringing. I've wanted to believe, but I just haven't ever been able to bring such notions out of the realm of the theoretical and into practice.
My reticence (and Michelle's) to embrace Christmas Carols outside of the last 6 weeks of the year I've realized may not be all that bad. Christmas music for our family epitomizes the season. To hear it without the changes in the season, the shorter days, the Christmas lights, the Christmas trees, cookies, presents, vacation, and family gatherings, just ends up leaving me wistful because they I cannot have the rest of it. In that respect I have to avoid them in July for my own sanity and happiness. If we started celebrating Christmas twice year it'd probably be a different story. But since the whole package comes only once year, so too must the music.
That said, I've never wholly agreed with Michelle's militant insistence on waiting until after Thanksgiving dinner. I look at the three weeks following Halloween as a transitional period. Maybe a well chosen carol here and there as you feel the urge, maybe even stretching yourself a little in the 2nd and 3rd week to test the limits of your festiveness (It's probably best to save Bing Crosby and Mariah Carey for the 3rd week if you dare bring them out before Thanksgiving at all. Manheim Steamroller might actually be some good starter music or something else instrumental). It should be a time where we ease ourselves into Christmas music, and it'd be much easier to get into the Christmas spirit if such efforts did not meet with opposition.
You who are brave enough to start in October, though, (or sooner) are on your own.
*The warm weather in California this year had Michelle and I both wanting an early start on some Christmas cheer. To that end, Michelle let me turn on the Christmas music a week before Thanksgiving. With the sunny, warm weather, though, everything about it seemed wrong. That we wanted to play it at all, though, I should think bolsters my point.

Dear Santa Claus Part III

Dear Santa,

This last letter to you has come under the most difficult circumstances. As you're no doubt aware, my last two letters to you have met with scorn and derision from certain family members. These same people for some reason seem to equate piety with short letters to Santa Claus. Apparently not aware of how good I've been this year,* they've labeled me as having "Cadillac Tastes" and high priced appetites. "We can't afford what you want" they say, as though that means I shouldn't want certain things (or so many) just because they're expensive and numerous.

Such criticisms are not only hurtful, but also seem to deny the very existence of Santa Claus! (I hope that hasn't gone unnoticed up at the North Pole.) Their criticisms furthermore appear to be a bit dishonest too, since they take only the most narrow construction of the word "afford." You and I both know, Santa, that these same people certainly have lines of credit available to them to borrow against, homes that can be refinanced, and weight benches (or libraries of books) that can be sold if they approached my wish lists with an open mind. Certainly my lists don't exceed their means in these respects!

If they had any idea how good I've been this year, too, as you surely do Santa, they'd be racing to meet that wish list. After all, what better way to show the world the value of being good than by rewarding one of Santa's best by giving him everything on his list (and everything on a long list at that). This is, after all, supposed to be a season of giving. For some reason, these most obvious points escape some in my family.

But I remain undeterred, so here's the rest of my Christmas Wish List:

• A Navy Blue BYU Sweatshirt: Now that I'm a size XL, instead of a XXL, I have renewed interest in a navy blue BYU sweatshirt with a small embroidered logo over the left chest.
• A New Laptop: I'm still hoping to get my money back from the laptop debacle of a few months ago, but I wouldn't mind getting a brand new laptop in the meantime. Make sure it has at least a 60 gig hard drive and a 512 RAM.
• Xbox 360 (Premium): They're in limited supply this Holiday season, and there really aren't any good release games, but it'd still be nice to have one of them around.
• WebCams for all the Clarks: Since my parents emerged from the stone age a short while ago with a DSL connection, it'd be nice if we all had webcams to enable video messaging. Now if we could just get my brother Nathan a faster home connection.
• A Milkshake Contest Victory: Actually, I might just settle for some kind of assurances this year that all participants would keep the rules. I can probably handle the rest myself.
• New Scriptures: Reading D&C 64 the other day, two pages were stuck together and tore when I tried to gently separate them. So I need some new leather scriptures.
• Gamer's Chairs: They've got new chairs these days for people to sit in to play video games. I'd like a couple of them.
• April 2005 Conference CDs: I just got October 2005's, but am still missing April's.
• A Christmas CD or Two: I'm always looking to add quality Christmas music to my collection--not just Christmas music for Christmas music's sake. I suspect that's how so many people end up with Michael McClean or Kurt Bestor Christmas CDs, and I'd like to avoid that level of music entirely.
• His Excellency: George Washington, by Joseph Ellis: The hardcover edition is preferred.
• Digital Video Camera: We're looking to upgrade our current video camera, which still requires tapes. I've heard there are even digital video cameras with hard drives on them now.
• Printer, Fax, Copier, Scanner: In visiting my father-in-law here in Mesa, AZ I've found that he has a fine HP 4 in 1 that even has a small LCD screen and slots for all sorts of memory cards. It's a delightful machine, which he got for $400. For $500 it comes with a wireless receiver--so naturally that's the one I want.
• New Digital Camera: Our current digital camera has served us well, but more and more I'm finding that the slow flash time robs us of many, many good shots. For our next one, I'd love one that takes pictures at at least 5 mega pixels, with a much shorter flash time and generally faster shutter speed. Spare no expense on this one.
• A Newspaper Subscription: I'd probably like the OC Register, and would even be contented just to have the Friday, Saturday, Sunday paper.

Again, Santa, thanks for taking the time to read this letter and fill every single item on my lists. I'll make sure only the finest cookies are left on the mantle on Christmas Eve for you, and I may even be able to arrange for a glass of whole milk to be left as well.

Yours as ever,
Aaron

*A source, speaking on condition of anonymity, informed me that I've actually made "Santa's Top Five Good Boys List" this year.

A Black Friday to Remember Part II

After having the afternoon to recover from the morning shopping, we made our way tonight across the street to the Mesa Temple for the Christmas lights. Each year they have a short event the day after Thanksgiving and turn on the lights for the season.

My father in law had promised us a brief program with a choir singing Christmas carols and then the lights. It was standing room only. The choir came out, sang one song, and then wasn't heard from again for another 40 minutes. Instead, whoever was in charge of the program decided that before we'd get to hear more singing someone probably needed to talk for awhile and then have someone 15-20 minute talk on Christmas. To that end, two sister missionaries got up and spoke (one in English and one in Spanish), and then a mission president had some carefully prepared remarks on the Savior and Isaiah.

The frustration of the situation probably escapes the reader, but it was maddening to have come for lights and carols and instead been given a high councilman's talk*. I don’t think I was the only one, though because many people didn't stick around. Once the mission president made it clear his part wasn’t going to be just a brief testimony, people left, and I tried to leave with them.

In the hours that have followed, I've felt guilty about my criticisms toward the program. It’s one thing to notice problems, and quite another I think to voice the problems you saw and belabor them. There’s a right way to do it, and tonight I missed the mark.

I think what it boiled down to was trying to do way too much. Someone, a mission president perhaps, apparently got a bit overzealous when planning the program. This person (or persons) put aside any thoughts that a lengthened program that included so much talking might not be a welcomed addition, even with such an important subject to talk about. People came with their kids, though, and they came to walk around and listen to Christmas carols. In that context, having us sit through a 20 minute talk was the wrong move. I just wish I knew the proper way to make that point and not be seen or feel like heretic.

Even so, the lights were nice. And the choir eventually did get to sing, though they were made to stand for the entire program. Jared was enchanted by the lights, the creche, and the lighted camels. Hopefully that’s what most people went home talking about, not the sour taste in their mouths from the rest of the program.
Anyway, an eventful day.

*He started by his talk by trying to tell a joke: He'd heard that the choir could stand up for at most about an hour, so if anyone thought he started talking to long we should wave our hands [insert laughs]. I felt annoyed enough that I immediately started waiving my hand. My father in law followed suit. He didn't sit down though.

A Black Friday To Remember

We're spending Thanksgiving in Phoenix this year, which meant yesterday eating my first Thanksgiving dinner outside. It also meant rifiling through the ads of the Thanksgiving editions of the Arizona papers for all of the Black Friday deals. To be truthful, I'd been looking forward to the ads all week. Several stores looked appealing initially, and I even figured I was willing to get up early and wait in lines for some of the extra special, extra limited, door buster deals.

As the day wore on, though, I felt less enthusiastic. Last year was really the first year I'd braved the early morning crowds hoping to get my hands on a few prized electronics at bargain prices. At that time I was up early to make my way to one store, Office Max, just after 6am, where I waited in line to get out for nearly an hour before giving up and leaving. I left out of frustration when the line was not moving and wrapped around the back of the store (and I was in the back). No deal seemed worth that kind of aggravation. When I then met Michelle and the rest of my family at Kohl's, my father was waiting in a line that wrapped around the store while my mother, siblings, and wife did the shopping in the meantime. It was sheer madness.

My memory of those events grew sharper as the sun faded last night, and I was not so anxious to be wait in those kinds of lines again. Still, Michelle and I decided to get up around 7am this morning and make our way to a few select stores and we had an absolutely delightful time. We took Jared with us and decided to make a morning of it. From Michaels to Staples to CompUSA to BestBuy to Mervyn's to Kmart to JB's (for Breakfast) to WalMart with Christmas Carols between stores. I don't think I've ever enjoyed shopping so much (though it probably helped that Michelle made clear she wasn't interested in shopping for clothes).

The key seemed to be letting the early morning maniacs have at the stores for a few hours before making our rounds. This meant giving up on most of the front page deals that get people into the stores, but there were enough enticements on the back pages of the ads to make us happy. There also weren't many lines (and short lines, after all, are a key to sanity and happiness).

I'm already looking forward to next year's. Perhaps then I'll have found the energy again to brave the early morning lines.

Christmas In July

What with Thanksgiving approaching, my having passed the bar (reason to make merry), and my two letters to Santa Claus (with a third on its way), it has seemed appropriate these past few days to pull out some of our Christmas music and get into the holiday spirit.

The only problem is that the last few days we've had temperatures between 85 and 90 degrees. This, of course, would make most any time of the year pleasant--but not this one. Now this weather feels entirely inappropriate and unwelcome.

As Jared would say "No. No."

This six week period or so just before Thanksgiving and through Christmas are times for at most 50 or 60 degree temperatures. The leaves should turn, I should see my breath in the evenings, and the crispness of the air as fall fades into winter. I should have to at least wear long sleeves in the evening, if not also a sweater or a coat. I should feel comfortable sipping hot cocoa in the evening, and a fire should seem like a welcome relief when I've been in the outdoors too long. In fact the colder and more wretched things get the better, since, for whatever reason, it seems to make the season warmer and more meaningful.

Instead, I'm stuck in the land of mild summers that never end and for the moment I cannot bear it! How on Earth am I supposed to listen to "Jingle Bells" or "Let it Snow" when there are no signs of frightful weather nor any cease to this pleasant sunshine?

These are supposed to be the times when people seek out their homes as refuge from the outside and at least figuratively huddle close. The weather is supposed to drive such gathering and hence make it more meaningful. It cannot, though, when I'm still running my air conditioner on November 20, and when I can just as comfortably hang out at the beach in a bathing suit as is in my living room. No. Something is very wrong here.

At this point I don't know what to do. I just can't escape the feeling that I'm faking it when I try to play Christmas music, especially mid day on days like today. Can there be no end to my suffering?

Sadly, I am faced with the stark reality that it is my lot to be bound for the next six weeks in this paradisical prison. Perhaps there were some commandments that, had I more fully kept, would have given me some place colder for the season. But alas! This is my fate. The days of my repentance are everlastingly too late. The harvest has ended, and my soul is stuck in sunny Southern California.

Passed

Kind of not dramatic. I'd been expecting to have my heart pounding while scrolling through the list of successful applicants, but after I input my information it just noted "Aaron Bradley Clark. This name appears on the July 2005 Bar Exam pass list."

I would celebrate, but I can't seem to get Michelle to get out of her pajamas.

Bar Hopping

I didn't wake up this morning thinking about the bar results that are to be posted in a few hours. Once Michelle was up, though, she quickly reminded me how much she wanted it all "to be done with." "Oh yeah, that's today isn't it" was my reaction, even if not audible.

Shortly after I showed up for work today, people started asking me about the upcoming bar results. "How are you doing?" and "Are you nervous?" It continued throughout the morning and into the afternoon. I hadn't been nervous...until they started asking abou it. With all the comments, though, it entered more and more of the my thoughts. And for me, thinking almost invariably leads to worrying and stewing. Whenever I have too much time to think about things I tend to give undue time and accord undue weight to any possible deficiences or errors. Why my mind works this way I cannot say).

There were some points this summer, while studying for the bar, that I'd gotten myself worked up enough that I was convinced I would fail. In my weaker moments I the only way to gauge how well I would do on the bar exam was to compare the hours I'd spent studying to the hours everyone else seemed to be studying. Since I have never seemed to study as much as my peers*, it was hard to make a good case for myself. Of course, having given myself up to failure, my expectations would lower enough that some sense of optimism couldn't help but creep in. The optimism would soon give way to outright confidence, until I'd been feeling confident so long that doubts would creep back in again. It was a vicious cycle.

So with all of the questioning and wishes of luck today, it started to get to me. Only two associates at the firm (or former associates) have ever failed the bar, and one of them failed because of an eletrical failure midway through the test (the CA bar did not let these unfortunate test takers have time to make up the work). CA's bar passage rate has typically been around 50%. For first time takers from ABA accredited schools it's up over 70%. Last summer, for Harvard Law School grads it was 85% (Of course, it was the fact that 5 HLS grads actually failed the bar last summer that caused all that worry throughout the summer, so sure was I that my study habits would find me among the 5). I know that if I failed the bar, I will be devastated. I would try to make the best of it, put on an expressionless face, and even give way to a good deal of sarcasm intended to be humorous. Inside, though, I'd be reeling, with no relief foreseeable.

It's often seemed to me that many people mistake that fear of failure as weakness. It has occured to me though, especially as I thought of many of my HLS classmates, that its that fear of failure that's precisely the reason why I succeed. To admit that failure is a possibility keeps me from complacency and perhaps slackening in my efforts. No one seems to begrudge athletes when they're reticent to guarantee victory, yet in these types of academic it seems odd that outsiders are quicker to ascribe such feelings to a lack of self-confidence. I don't really get that.

But also don't misunderstand. These and other similar musings, when they happen to escape out into the open, aren't an attempt to fish for reassuring compliments. Such compliments are always gratefully received, but they're not what I'm looking for. Instead, such thoughts are just outward evidence that I realize what's at stake, or an effort to remind myself what's at stake to make sure I'm not taking anything for granted.

Gratefully, one of the associates told me this morning that I should take off early today to get far, far away from the office before the results come out. That seemed like good advice, espeically since I'm always anxious to leave anyway. Given his advice and the advice of other associates I arranged to leave at 2pm to sit home and wait, and maybe even break my record on Ms. Pac-Man.


*In fact, as an undergrad at BYU I prided myself on never doing the reading for my political science classes. I discovered that if I just went to class and took good notes on what the professors would discuss, I'd have everything I needed. This never failed me. In law school, I stopped going to class so much, since there were organizations with outline banks online from people who'd previously taken the class and taken good notes. I had varying levels of success with this.

Dear Santa Claus II

Santa,

Forgive me, but I have a few more Christmas wishes. Since my first letter came so early in the season I can hardly think you'd have expected it to be the final version. So here are a few additional ideas and requests:

1. My $565 stolen by the British Thief on eBay: Yes, as my previous post sets out, I've been the victim of larceny by trick (I think I've got the term right from my bar prep--speaking of which, I find out on Friday). Each day that passes I feel more and more of a fool for having taken the bait, which has left me both humiliated and somewhat embittered. Maybe you can take care of that too (Think Christmas Vacation style by personally delivering the thief to my front door on Christmas Eve. Make sure he has my money in hand. I think I'd like to give the person the 40 Crows. That'll teach 'em not to steal).

2. Office Decor: My previous letter mentioned getting my diploma framed. I'm also in the market for anything else, pictures or otherwise, that might add some personal touch and/or flavor to my office space. Something with a Chicago Cubs theme here would be good too.

3. Mammoth Spanish Dictionary: Right now, I'm one of three attorneys in the office who speaks Spanish, and hopefully the most fluent of the three. This should work to my advantage at some point. What I'd like along these lines, then, is one of those monster Spanish dictionaries to go in my office.

4. Sugar Cookies With the Frosting Just Crusted Over: The cookies just still be somewhat moist on the inside (so there's a little give when you bite into them). The frosting should be about a centimeter or two thick, the color is relatively unimportant, but it's important that the frosting has started to crust on top when they're given to me, Santa, muy importante.

5. Morning Sick Free Days for Michelle: Santa, you who are all knowing should know that Michelle is in the beginning stages of pregnancy. As with Jared, she's morning sick all of the time, which makes life hard for everyone at home. For my sake, and Jared's (not to mention Michelle's) help her get past that stage before Christmas season gets in full swing (maybe even before Thanksgiving if you're looking to dole out a little pre-holiday cheer.

6. Yahtzee Handheld Travel Game (Electronic): I played one last night at a friend's house, and I want one.

That should do for now, though remember, neither the original list nor this addendum is by any means meant to be exhaustive. I'm not going to ask for you to spend a specific dollar amount on gifts, but I urge you to be generous.

Thanks again,
Aaron

Fool Me Once...

A week ago last Monday I was beaming. In a few moments of free time at work, I was searching eBay for deals. I came across this auction. It had been on eBay for only an hour or so, so it seemed like one of those rare opportunities where the seller had severely undervalued her item, and put a "Buy It Now" price on it reflecting that. ALSO, it was early enough in the listing that no one had discovered yet. So I checked it over five or six times. The seller had 100% positive feedback (though apparently had rarely been a seller) and lived in the London. I swallowed, and purchased it. I figured I could resell it for 4 or 5 times what I had paid for it (everyone can use an extra $2000).

Two days later I got an email from the seller promising to ship the next morning. I have not heard from her since.

I started to get nervous a few days ago when I checked up on the transaction and found that, since the time I had purchased the laptop, the seller was no "no longer a registered user." This means either that the seller has disaffiliated himself with eBay voluntarily, or been suspended for an infraction. Not Good.

I've sent several emails asking for a tracking number and some indication that the laptop actually shipped. I've heard nothing. My anxiety has grown with each that passes with no word (and no laptop).

So tonight I posted something on the eBay question and answer board, explaining the situation and wondering out loud what I should do. Several people responded saying that the particular laptop I "purchased" was a favorite of scammers, and that I had most likely been had. I filed a claim immediately with PayPal.*

So now I'm hoping for a few things: 1. I'm still hoping the laptop will show up. It's a faint hope, but I'm still holding out for that; or 2. That PayPal will recover the full purchase price.; and 3. That my friend Dave, a recent UK transplant, can lead the Elder's Quorum from his ward over to this person's house to rough her up and get my money back. (Dave, I'm willing to give you a cut of whatever you recover--at least enough for a fancy Chili's Dinner, maybe even with some chips and salsa).

I've been feeling a bit foolish ever since I saw the seller's account had been suspended. $400 (the amount I'd lose if I only end up with the eBay item protection) is a LOT of money--and it represents the recent sale of my PS2 and games.

Ugh.


*I have learned since that many sellers are protected by Paypal's 100% Buyer Protection (which protects your purchase if you use Paypal). I suspect when I sell, I have that protection. With this seller, though, there was no such protection (and I wasn't aware before that this had to be specially noted on a listing--I thought it applied to all Paypal transactions). This limits my recovery, in the event that they can't recover the money from the seller, to $175.

Dear Santa Claus

Dear Santa Claus,

It seemed prudent this year to post my letter to you on my blog. Hopefully you're an avid reader. I figure this will save me the costs of postage, and also give me witnesses (assuming you are not the only reader) who can attest to my requests if you and I ever have a contractual dispute that arises out of these requests. It's safer for everyone this way, really.

It might be a little early to be sending you my list this year, but then again my list is long, and if you're not gonna get me some of the stuff on my list, then you need to coordinate with my wife and family. This way they'll know just how much money they need to save, or what size loan they need to take out, to meet the rest of my demands. Oh, I mean requests.

Hopefully I needn't say too much to remind you how good I've been this year. My wife and son have given me high marks as a husband and father respectively. You can also just ask any of my siblings and I'm sure they'll tell you I'm their favorite, and not just because I married Michelle (except, apparently, for Bryan. He'll come around).

Let's see... this year too I graduated from law school without managing to get a "C" in any of my classes the last semester. I've kept my room clean (though Michelle sometimes makes this impossible. A lump of coal in her stocking might teach her.). I've also been diligent about taking the trash out and doing the dishes. Hmmm....I 've also lost about 4o lbs. this year, so that has to merit some kind of reward. I'm sure you've got all of this and more documented anyway.

So with that in mind, here's my list. They're not in any particular order, but that shouldn't matter because I'm sure you'll find a way to get me everything on it:

Lob Wedge: If I can point to any particular problems in my golf game, it's my chipping. A lob wedge would make this much easier (Please remember, too, Santa that I'm a LEFT HANDED golfer).

Golf Lessons: While we're on the subject of golf, why not just throw in some lessons for me at a nearby golf course?

Some Snazzy Golf Shoes: These would help improve my traction on the golf course AND help me look stylish. It's a win win situation here.

Twlight Zone Seasons 3 AND 4: You should know, Santa, that I'm one of the biggest fans of the old black and white Twilight Zone series hosted by Rod Serling. Earlier in the year I got seasons 1 and 2, but now seasons 3 and 4 are also out, and I need them to be a part of my DVD collection.

Smallville Seasons 1-4: Another set of DVDs I'd be interested in owning, but actually these kind I'm only interested in because I've never seen them. In all honesty, Santa, what I'd do if you gave me these would be to watch them through, and then probably sell them on Amazon or half.com for other DVDs or Video Games. I don't even know if I'll like the series, but I'm interested in dabbling. This gift makes such dabbling possible.

Mormon Tabernacle Choir CDs: Just that fact that I want some Mormon Tabernacle Choir CDs, Santa, should illustrate to you how good I've been this year. We were already given one by my father in law, "Love is Spoken Here," which is wonderful. We've heard there are others, though, like "Behold the Lilies of the Field" that we want to add to our collection.

PDA/Cell Phone: It's true, Santa, our T-mobile contract expires in December, and we want to switch over to Cingular and take advantage of "Roll Over Minutes" (especially after last month's debacle where inadvertent overages cost us far more than we're contented to pay). As part of switching over, I want to get a PDA cell phone, so that I don't have to carry two separate devices in my pocket (3 if I'm sporting my Ipod as well). I've been wanting a PDA for ages, and actually have some money set aside to purchase one as part of my weight loss prize money. If you want to make the purchase for me, though, then I can use that money for something else more frivolous.

New Brown Shoes: I know, I know, Santa. You probably saw me get some new brown shoes last year. They're just not stylish enough for me these days, though, what with me being an attorney now. I want some that are shiny, that can be polished. The ones I have now can't be. PLUS, they squeak like crazy on the floor surface outside the elevators where I work.

Pay Off My Student Loans: I needn't rehearse to you the benefits of making my student loans disappear. Just know that I'd really appreciate it.

New (Cool looking) Sneakers: The sneakers I have now are certainly functional, but the bottoms on them are smoothing out enough that I can almost skate across asphalt. Remember, Santa, that I like sneakers that are predominantly white, but not flashy. Some new running sneakers or tennis sneakers would probably be ideal.

A new Baseball/Softball Glove: When I left on my mission in 1997, I had a glove. When I came home in 1999, it was gone. Its disappearance is shrouded in mystery, though forensic evidence suggests one of my siblings stole it. Probably Matthew, which may be why he was sent to Mongolia. It could have been one of my sisters as well (or all of them) who were playing softball for a few years there. It could also have been Bryan, who apparently does things to me purely out of spite. However it happened, it's gone, and I'd like another one to play softball with and eventually play catch with my son. Remember, Santa, I throw with my right hand, and it's a BIG hand.

Digital Video Camera: After seeing the Kjelstroms cool digital video camera yesterday, I decided we need to upgrade our analog one. This would make the editing process for such videos easier. It would also make the videos crisper when being transferred. If you want some direction on this, let me know. I'm here to help you help me.

New Electric Razor: My mother-in-law was quite kind after Michelle and I got married in giving me a Norelco Electric Razor. It has served me well, but now I'm feeling inclings for a newer model.

Star Wars DVDs: I was reminded yesterday just how bad the dialogue of the Episode III is, so by this request please don't think I'm referring to Episodes I, II, or III. No, I'm interested in owning the first three DVDs, though remember, Santa, that with my new TV we're best served by the "Widescreen" versions. These would probably be cheapest on half.com or amazon.com. If you're not getting them used, then you're probably wasting money you could be using to buy me other presents.

Batman Begins Soundtrack: You know I'm a sucker for movie scores, which have even more value to me now that Michelle and I have dabbled in movie making.

New Dress Shirts/Business Casual Shirts: With all of the weight I've lost this year (and about 20 more lbs to go) my shirts aren't fitting me so well these days. I'm always in need for some cotton long sleeve white shirts, but also of other colors (maybe even short sleeve too) size XLT. I've also discarded most of my polo shirts, so if there's a nice XL polo you're thinking of, it might be nice.

Framed Diploma/Office Pictures: Somehow getting my diplomas framed and my office decorating has gotten lost in the shuffle of things to do. I'd like to be able to hang them in my office, along with a nice picture or two.


So, Santa, before I close I just want to make it clear this is not meant to be an exhaustive list. I've been good enough this year to merit at least twice the number of presents I have listed. I just don't want to take all of the fun out of finding something I'm dying to have that I just don't know I want yet. As my brother Matthew so boldly asked regarding his birthday presents, I invite you to be generous.

Thanks, Santa, we'll be sure to leave some nice cookies for you on the mantle this year.

Truly Yours,

Aaron

A Not So ClearPlay

A Thursday night and nothing worth my attention on TV (yet it is on anyway). This seems like a good time for this post.

A paper of mine is getting published this month on the edited movie industry and the copyright implications involved in the Cleanflicks case and the Family Movie Act. I won't bore anyone with the details, but its essentially my chance to comment on whether or not I think the various facets of the industry are "legal."

One of those arguments is already moot, since the Family Movie Act has made the ClearPlay technology legal. ClearPlay manufactures a DVD player onto which you can load filters, which will mute or skip objectionable parts of movies. This has been especially well received in Utah, since most of the population are members of the LDS church, which teaches movies with objectionable material should be avoided.

(A side note: This made for interesting conversation in Utah for awhile, where the instant reaction of many was that the technology was illegal and infringing. This gave many of those members already watching objectionable movies some reason to feel self-righteous, even to the level of pointing fingers in the opinion letters of local newspapers: We may be watching bad movies, but at least we're not breaking the law like the hypocrites who patronize CleanFlicks and Clearplay! [Hypocrisy being a favorite attack on those who words or actions prick the conscience]. The satisfaction they apparently found in that comparison was at once enfuriating, mildly entertaining, and more than a little disconcerting. As time has bourne out, it was also a bit premature.)

Anyway, so with ClearPlay now getting the green light from the Federal Government and the fact that we'd given away our DVD player, it seemed like a good time to try out ClearPlay for myself.

We ordered the latest model DVD player that came with a year's subscription to the filters and were pleased at the prospects of a new library of movies now being open to us.

It turned out, though, that we just didn't feel comfortable. The problem wasn' t the DVD player itself, or the technology necessarily. Rather, even with the filters loaded on the DVD player, we couldn't much stand the thought of having the original, unedited, copies of many of these objectionable movies in our house. For whatever reason, they still posed a threat such that we did not feel comfortable having them around.

Of course, with that being the case, there was little reason to even have the ClearPlay DVD player in the house--so we returned it and got a regular one over $100 cheaper.

There was another issue, though, that we never got around to, but that has been on my mind for some time. It's that by patronizing the edited movie industry, one is still lending financial support to the very studios who make such objectionable movies, and even more specifically to the objectionable movies themselves! (Since you have to someone be in possession of the original movie to be view the edited version). The concern always seemed mostly academic to me, one of those things that might make me uncomfortable if I bothered thinking about it long enough, but that ultimately felt too abstract to cause any real worry.

At least one purveyor of the edited movie technology, though, took it seriously enough to abandon the practice of simply editing Hollywood's fare.

For now, though, we've decided that if edited movies are going to exist in any form in our house, it's probably going to be through CleanFlicks, which burns an edited copy of the movie onto the DVD itself. Unfortunately, this is also the form most vulnerable to be found infringing (though I think there's a compelling argument to find otherwise!). This issue seems to swallow, for the moment, any meaningful talk about supporting the very content we're seeking to avoid.

Perhaps once the legality has been decided (definitively) I'll then be ready to talk about whether my patronage makes me a hypocrite.