Thursday, June 15, 2006

Tough Decisions

Jared and I went back to Ralphs today and bought another 12 bags of M&Ms at 75% off, though that’s hardly newsworthy.  What caught us by surprise were that Oreos are on sale this week for 99 cents a bag, with Ralph’s Club Card, limit two (at the regular rip off price of $3.99).  So the dilemma was, if I only get to choose two bags, which Oreos do I choose?

Regular Oreos? The always comforting Original Double Stuf? The Chocolate Double Stuf? Peanut Butter Double Stuf? The Golden “Uh-Oh” Oreos with chocolate filling? Or the Reduced Fat Oreos?

Here was my thinking: Regular Oreos can’t ever compete with original Double Stuf Oreos. I mean, if you’ve only got regular Oreos around, that’s fine (probably even better than fine if you’ve got milk too). But what kind of person would choose regular Oreos over original Double Stuf Oreos? Only a person who is not in love with the filling…and if you’re not in love with the filling, why are you eating Oreos in the first place?

So the original Double Stuf wins over the Regular Oreos.  It also has to trump Reduced Fat Oreos for this reason: If you are going to eat Oreos, I figure I won’t waste time (and lose taste) by going for the Reduced Fat kind.  Fewer calories? Perhaps, but who cares!? You’re eating Oreos for crying out loud! You don’t eat Oreos when you’re trying to lose weight.

Things get a little trickier with the Chocolate Double Stuf and the Peanut Butter Double Stuf, so let’s talk about the Golden “Uh-Oh” Oreos next.  Has anyone actually tried these things? Neither have I.  It’s a risk -- without any of the things I love about the Original Double Stuf Oreos (except that both presumably contain sugar and flour).  I don’t know about you, but I’m not about to risk one of my two potential 99 cent purchases on the wild card “Uh-Oh” Golden Oreos.

That leaves the Chocolate Double Stuf and Peanut Butter Double Stuf.  I’ve had both of these before, back in the day during my finals months in Provo in between college and law school – when they were new and all the rage (I believe there was even a Chocolate/Peanut Butter Mixed Oreo).  They tasted good back then. In fact, too good.  Part of the reason I couldn’t choose either of these is because that last summer in Provo was the summer I ballooned to 310 lbs.  And perhaps my most disturbing memory of that summer is coming home from work for lunch one afternoon, and with reckless abandon eating an entire bag of Peanut Butter Oreos for lunch – with milk.  That singular meal (if it can be called that) will forever typify the pattern of conduct put me at my heaviest, and the Chocolate and Peanut Butter Oreos are unfortunate victims of that stigma.  I’ll likely never purchase those particular cookies again – regardless of price.

So in the end, we took home two bags of Double Stuf Oreos – I’m sure Michelle will be thrilled when she finds out.

7 comments:

Matt Astle said...

One could make a good argument in favor of the Golden Uh-Ohs based on the information you've put forth. They're a variety you've never tried before, so therefore you SHOULD use your 99 cent opportunity, so that just in case they're bad, you haven't wasted too much of your money on them. And besides, have you EVER tried a BAD variety of Oreos? Of course not. They don't exist. So the excitement of getting something new and yummy for cheap should have pushed you in that direction. Plus, TWO packages of Double Stuf? That's a lot of Stuf, and even Oreos get old after a while. You need variety.

That said, I've tried the golden Oreos, and they're not all that great. I mean, they're as good as a golden cookie can get, but what makes an Oreo the best cookie in the world is the chocolate wafer (sorry if I'm offending you as a Stuf lover, but I invite you to take a hard look at the reason why you don't buy generic Oreo ripoffs--it's not because their filling isn't as good; it's because their cookie wafers aren't as good). When you take the chocolate wafer out of the equation, the Golden Oreo becomes just another cookie.

Bottom Line: you made the right choice.

Anonymous said...

I have to agree with Matt. When I buy Oreos, it is for the cookie. I'm not a big fan of the filling. In fact, I've been known to scrape it off and just eat the cookie. The PB filling though - that's good stuff. You should have given them another chance. Somehow I think you may yet....

Aaron Clark said...

Whoa, how 'bout a little solidarity and keeping our family conflicts in house? He he.

I mean no disrespect to the wafer. I love the wafer, it's a solid, stable base for the cookie. It's the perfect wafer actually, and it's the stability of the wafer that allows the filling to shine.

But they sell Oreos with double the filling for a reason. The filling is the star of the show, the wafer has the supporting role. And with that perfect balance -- the world is in harmony

Anonymous said...

The original Double Stuf has always been the go-to cookie. The original Oreo is a tad bit dry relative to the Double Stuf. But the latest, greatest development for me has been the Mint Double Stuf. It's been my Oreo of choice for several months.

Shelly said...

I must say I am a fan of the original Oreo. There's just something about it - the old standby that you fell in love with the first time. Plus, the thing that makes the Oreo incredible is the cookie no doubt about it. The Double Stuf is fine every once in a while, but almost too glutonous. Whereas, the original is exceptionally satisfying and rarely leaves you with regret. In fact, I'm going to run upstairs and have some right now (with milk, of course)

Matt Astle said...

Well, if we're now talking about our favorite varieties of Oreos, I must bring up the Big Stuf, which I remember from my childhood, but haven't seen since.

I think you'd like this one, Aaron.

Aaron Clark said...

I was just talking to Michelle about the Big Stuff the other night. Alas, it was apparently an idea too big for its time.