If you missed my previous post explaining how I’m ranking Top 21 All Time Donut/Pastry Experiences, I suggest reading the previous post before moving onto this one. Below I have ranked the Top 11 of such experiences. If you are reading this post, perhaps I’ll take the smallest amount of pleasure in the thought that my rankings have at least amused you.
11. Munchkins, the “True” Dunkin Donuts, Porter Square (2004-2005): I don’t remember what reasons finally lead me to visit the Dunkin’ Donuts one T-stop up the Redline from our Harvard Square apartment. Imagine my delight, though, especially given the experiences mentioned in #20, to find this store in the evening, freshly stocked (freshly stocked in the evening!) with donuts. This particular store had 3 or 4 more varieties of Munchkins than the Harvard Square Dunkin’ Donuts (including the rare
Butternut Munchkin). What added to my joy was that a dozen of these donuts or a box of 50 Munchkins was $1.00
cheaper than at the Harvard Square store. Fresher Donuts, Better Selection, Lots Cheaper, and a Credit Card Machine that never failed me. I thought the store was heaven sent, and have ever since called it the “True” Dunkin’ Donuts. What added to my joy was that our friends started calling it by the same name, if only to humor.
10. Holland Farms Jelly Donut (Late 90s and Early 2000s): This is Holland Farms’ second appearance on the list, and the attention is not unwarranted. This little bakery with the cows on the sign makes what are quite simply the finest
jelly donuts you can ever hope to sample. Now understand, I had never previously even liked jelly donuts. I considered them a waste of time, money, flour, and sugar (from most bakeries, they still are). These jelly donuts, though, single handedly made me a believer. With a powdered sugar covered surface, and slightly overstuffed black raspberry filling, to sample one is to find unsatisfying almost any donut that comes after, and surely any jelly donut. Search the whole Earth and you will not anywhere find its equal. They are almost the White Witches’ Turkish Delight* , though they don’t quite make one want to betray his brothers and sisters to evil incarnate just to have another. They are, after all, still just jelly donuts.
* see
The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe9. Tim Horton’s Donut Holes,
Temple Trips to Toronto, Trips Through Ohio and to Maine (Early 90s-2004): I remember attending the temple dedication for the Toronto, Canada temple. I remember, too, my parents making the occasional 12-14 hour round trip to attend a temple session. We never minded my parents making trip, mostly because they always brought back donut holes from Tim Horton’s. It may have had something to do with the deprived childhood I lead, but no donut holes ever tasted as good as these. I won’t dare attribute it to anything to do with the temple, nor need I even suggest it. On one of our drives across country we found a Tim Horton’s in Ohio. Given my memories, I avoided the standard donuts and went straight for the donut holes. We did the same on a trip last fall to Maine, when we stumbled upon a Tim Horton’s in Portland. They tasted as good then as they did back in the 90s. It might have something to do with their deceptively straight forward approach to donut holes, or placing just the right amount of glaze on the surface (and letting it crust over just enough). I suspect, though, that Tim Horton’s Donut Holes rank #8 on my list because I’ve never had too many at one time: Basically I’ve never made myself sick from them and had one of those sorrowful moments afterward where I wished I hadn’t eaten so many. The sad truth is that this is one of only a handful of pastries on this list I can say that about.
8. Cinnabon Cinnamon Rolls, Airport, Orem, & Michelle’s Knock Offs (Early 2000s): Michelle introduced me to Cinnabon Cinnamon rolls after we were married and waiting for a flight in the Salt Lake Airport. I’d previously given them no attention since they were airport food and, regardless of how good it might taste, airport food is always greatly overpriced. She spoke favorably of them, though, and it didn’t take much convincing to get me to share one. When we started in on it, I was not prepared for this beast of a cinnamon roll whose main selling point seems to be its sheer excess: huge rolls, tons of sugar, and tons of icing (with the option to buy an additional small tub of icing). It was Enormous, and it was Awesome (it might have been less awesome if someone had shown me the calories in each bite). It didn’t take long to start a tradition to get one every time we flew—perhaps even sometimes getting one
each. They were worth the hefty price if we had the money. I became slightly less enthused, however, after an evening of pure madness: For a treat night one weekend at BYU, I drove to a nearby mall in Orem and bought a
6 pack of these cinnamon rolls with a few extra tubs of icing. Even with my enthusiasm, I couldn’t get through more than one of those rolls, which meant leaving the rest in the freezer for a time (something almost unheard of in the Clark home). Apparently even I had my limits. We’ve never bought them since.
They did enjoy a renaissance, though, when Michelle found a knock off recipe for them online. Michelle’s may have even tasted better because: 1. we had more control on the toppings and amount of frosting; and 2. we made them at a fraction of the cost.
7. Family Home Evening Activity at Smith’s (Provo 2000): For the first few months of our marriage, we lived in Provo without a car. That thought seems scarcely imaginable now, but at the time it was a novel way to make ends meet. I think we were almost proud of it. At any rate, for one of our earliest home evenings, our activity was to walk to a nearby Smith’s Grocery Store and get a treat. While in the store, an announcement came abruptly over the store’s PA system that changed all plans. The woman who spoke noted that for the next 15 minutes the donuts in the bakery case were all on sale--$2.00 for whatever you could fit in a box. With cat like reflexes I raced over to the bakery and with Michelle went to work stuffing as many donuts into one of those boxes as we could. (It’s a good thing I raced over there, too, because another woman soon came to pick over what donuts were left). In the end we stuffed 22 donuts in a box meant to barely fit 12. I even had to try and sneak past the checker at the register the fact that the box wouldn’t close without a bit of help. I think I sensed a snicker from her.
I’m sure the donuts weren’t terribly tasty, but at that price it almost didn’t matter what they tasted like. We talked all the way home and for months after about how lucky we were to have been in the store at that moment, ascribing our good fortune to our faithfulness in holding family home evening.
6. Mag’s Cinnamon Crumb Donuts, Mag’s Bakery (Irvine 2004-Present): I hold a special place in my heart for little donut shops, and can hardly pass one by without feeling some urge to stop in and sample their fare. Last summer, I finally stopped at a bakery near the home we were staying at in Irvine. There, at Mag’s Donut Bakery, I brought home samples of several different donuts, one of which is their Cinnamon Crumb Donut. It’s a cake donut, with cinnamon crumbs coating the outside. The donut is so plain in its ambition, and yet the result is satisfying perfection. As far as cake donuts are concerned, I have never tasted its equal. Mag’s earns points for offering a $1.00 discount for buying a dozen donuts, and for the quaint phrase on its box “Handcrafted to Perfection.” (The notion that they “hand craft” their donuts brings chuckles, but also shows the kind of dedication I expect from successful mom and pop donut shops).
What adds to the humor with these donuts is that the two friends that I’ve introduced these donuts to have not shared my passion. In fact, they haven’t even seemed to like them! (Both hardly even tried them). That alone may have helped propel these donuts to #6, because that left more for me.
5. Mom’s Chocolate Cinnamon Rolls (Early 90’s and Once After My Mission):These were the days never to be forgotten: when Mom had the time and inclination to work her culinary magic toward the creation of one of the finest treats of my teenage years: chocolate cinnamon rolls. They were exactly what they sound like, cinnamon rolls with chocolate dough and standard powdered sugar icing (best when just crusted over).
What adds to their value and propels them to the top 5 is their scarcity. I may have enjoyed them 3 or 4 times in my childhood, and then once again on special request after my mission. They have never been seen since, partly because Mom’s time for such baking shrank as she studied for and eventually became a registered nurse. Additionally, though, they don’t quite fit into the South Beach Diet.
4. Chocolate Milk & Donut Runs (Early 90s): One of these runs was described specifically in #17. On the whole, though, these late night chocolate milk and donut runs that accompanied weekend sleepovers made for some of the best memories of the early years of my life. They started in Herkimer one evening at a friend’s house when we decided to walk a few blocks to a convenience store for a late night treat. Some Hershey’s Chocolate Milk and donuts were what seemed most appealing. Most times I think we simply bought the Hostess Donettes that come pre-packaged and last for years on a convenient store shelf (the chocolate coated variety of these are seriously underrated).
Those treats, the late night company, and the video games we played were all I could hope for in the weekends that accompanied those formative teenage years. Some of my nightly excursions even now for ice cream or something else seem merely to be attempts to recapture some of the innocence, wholesome pleasure, and comfort of those late night donut runs of my youth.
3. 4 Dozen Krispy Kremes in Iowa (2001): In August of 2001 my family had sold their home in Upstate New York and were on their way cross country to meet us in Utah, making their new home in Layton. Michelle and I were still at BYU, with Michelle set to graduate in a few days. One fateful afternoon, we found a message left by Mom on our answering machine alerting us to the fact that while passing through Iowa, the van my father was driving had been hit head on by a pick up truck crossing the median. Dad was in surgery and in critical condition. The stresses and worries of that time can’t be adequately treated here, but within a day or two it was decided that I’d fly out to Iowa to help my mother finish the drive to Utah, while Dad stayed beyond in the hospital recovering (both of his femur bones had been broken by the steering wheel). I had hoped to lighten the load and provide what little relief my presence and resources could muster.
I stuck with what I knew. Borrowing my Elder’s Quorum President’s Krispy Kreme Card, I flew to Iowa. On the day we were to resume the journey, we visited Dad, gave blessings to the Dad, Mom, and the children, and then made our way to Krispy Kreme, where I bought an unprecedented 4 dozen donuts to see us through the journey (the card given me provided a free dozen glazed for every dozen purchased). We left 1 dozen donuts with the Nyes, the family that had graciously hosted my family for nearly a week, and then took the rest with us on the road. If nothing else, the sheer number of donuts gave my siblings something to talk about other than the accident. I dare not say the donuts themselves provided much healing, but at least they provided for some light moments amid the somberness of a very difficult time.
2. Hemstrought’s Half Moons, Maple & Chocolate Fingers (Late 80s, 90s): Hemstrought’s bakery was a small store next to a grocery store less than a mile from our home. When we were able to collect and return enough soda and beer cans from the nearby softball and Little League fields (each offering a 5 cent return at any grocery store) we would sometimes venture to spend our earnings on Hemstrought’s donuts. I remember my brother Nathan’s eyes growing especially large when they attendant would place those enormous chocolate or maple bar donuts in a box for us (we always got those since they were the biggest and seemed to give us the most for our money). For most of my younger years, Hemstrought’s was the best we could ever hope for from the donut world, and those donuts were all we ever wanted. Nothing gave Nathan or me greater delight than to bring home a box of those donuts to share only between ourselves.
I don’t remember when exactly I was turned to the Hemstrought’s Half Moons (other parts of the world seem to call them Black & White Cookies) but these cake-like cookies with half chocolate, half vanilla frosting were then and are still the “end all be all” of delectable bakery treats. Holland Farms also makes half moons, but my memory is most vivid of those that came from Hemstroughts. If you were to line up all the pastries I’ve described (or will describe) and then ask me to select just one, I would not hesitate to reach for the Hemstrought’s half moon, or the ones Michelle now makes utilizing the Hemstrought’s recipe found somewhere on the internet.
1. Holland Farm’s Chocolate and Maple Bars Donuts (May 13, 1995-Early 2000s): My affinity for Holland Farms donuts, and my reason for placing their Chocolate and Maple Bars #1, can be traced to the days after my youngest brother Peter was born. Peter was born only a day before I was to go to the first of two junior proms. That morning Dad took some of the kids to the hospital in Utica to see Mom and my new little brother. On the way, though, he stopped at Holland Farms to buy some orange juice and donuts. Among the donuts I remember were the Chocolate Bars, with a lighter chocolate icing that almost made them look like maple bars.
We drank and ate freely as we made our way to the hospital in eager anticipation, and then were a little awe struck to look at and hold the newest addition to our family, even with his chaffing skin (he came a bit late). That was a happy morning, perhaps made fonder because time has darkened anything other than the joys. These donuts rank an easy #1, in part because they were above average donuts, but also because I cannot help but think of that morning without feeling the urge to smile broadly and almost laugh at the delightful precursor a quick stop for donuts and orange juice made for meeting Peter for the first time. If all mornings could be as that one was for me, I would think myself in Heaven.
To add to that, years later after my mission I took great pleasure in taking my younger brothers Bryan and Peter on secret early Saturday morning donut runs for the family, making the 30 mile round trip to Holland Farms to pick up a box or two of these donuts and orange juice. We did this on a number of occasions, each time less of a surprise than the last. Just ask Bryan and Peter, though, whether they remember those trips, and I’m almost willing to bet they remember the donuts bought and sampled better than I do.
Honorable Mention: One Halloween in Ilion (mid 90s)Tasty’s Spudnuts on Fantasy League Draft Day (2005)Unexpected Breakfast of Glazed Donuts at My High School Graduation
Of course, what we took in tonight was but a shadow of some of the famous Clark Family Trick or Treating Halloween Hauls in days past (There were years when we trained for Halloween night, making my younger siblings run wind sprints to be ready to run from house to house when All Hallow's Eve arrived. It's the stuff of legends). It's not a bad haul, though, for someone Jared's age. I daresay it's a promising sign of Halloweens to come.
