Two Truths and a Lie
I’d like to introduce myself by
playing a little game with you. Some of you may be familiar with this
game. It’s called, “Two Truths and a Lie.” For those of you who don’t know how to play,
here’s how it works: I’m going to make 3
statements about myself, 2 of which are true, and one of which is a lie. It is then up to you to discern which of the
3 is the lie.
Here we go:
1. I
once helped police solve a crime.
2. I
have never broken a bone.
3. I
have had the chicken pox 4 times.
Now, decide in your mind which is
the lie. Ready for the answer?
If you thought that me helping
police to solve a crime is the lie, you were wrong. It is true, and yes, there is a story behind
it, but, in the interest of time, I’m going to leave you in suspense on that
one. If you want to hear it, you’ll have
to chat with me later.
If you thought that I was lying
when I said I’ve never broken a bone, you were right. It is a lie.
I broke my ankle when I was 17, which means, that yes, #3 is true. I DID
have the chicken pox 4 times as a child.
Now, I’m not the only one who
likes to play “Two Truths and a Lie.” In
fact, I know someone who is an absolute master at it. He is particularly adept at crafting the
lie. He’s so good, in fact, there is not
a single person who plays with him, that does not, at one time or another, and
to varying degrees, fall for his lies.
You may have guessed, I am referring to the Father of All Lies, our
adversary, Satan.
A Different Perspective
The topic I was given is “The
Softer Addiction in Habits that Prevent Progress.” Now, if I had been given this topic even a
couple of years ago, I think I would have, at least initially, reacted with
some anxiety. Words like “addiction,”
“habits,” and “preventing progress,” carry a lot of weight, especially when
applied to our behavior. Indeed, I’m
sure I would have approached the topic by ticking off a list my own
shortcomings, lamenting not only their number, but how long, and how often I’d
repeated some of them. I’d think of
areas in which I’d grown complacent, and in my soul searching would surely have
been reminded of how very far from perfection I am, which recognition would have
carried with it feelings of guilt and shame.
I would certainly have known that I was an inadequate speaker for the
topic.
Now, as I mentioned before, Satan
is expert at feeding us lies. One of his
favorite tactics, is planting in our minds thoughts of despair and
discouragement, meant to halt our progress and create distance between us and
our Heavenly Father. And it works. At least, it certainly has with me.
Perhaps some of you can
relate. I suspect as members of the
church that most of us, are painfully aware of our weakness and how far from
perfection we are. Likely all of us can
tick off a list of shortcomings that plague us, some of which we may have
struggled with for a significant length of time, perhaps even all of our
lives. And, like me, many of you may
also feel inadequate, or discouraged, or perhaps even unworthy.
But, over the last few years, the
Lord has taught me a different perspective - one counter to Satan’s message of
shame and despair - that has changed how I view my own habits, weaknesses, and
struggles. And it is through that lens
that I would like to share with you today “Two Truths and a Lie” I’ve learned
regarding “habits that prevent progression.”
My message today is particularly
intended for those of us who, like me, from time to time, when considering our
weakness, find ourselves discouraged, disheartened, or even despairing. I pray that it will be a message of hope, and
through the Spirit, you might be able to see yourself through the Lord eyes.
Truth #1: Habits and Weakness
are a Part of God’s Plan for Our Spiritual Development.
I think we can agree that our God
is a God of high expectations. In the
gospel, we are taught the ideal. Apart
from a rather lengthy list of “thou shalts,” and “thou shalt nots,” the Lord
further instructs us, “…what manner of men ought ye to be? Verily I say unto you, even as I am” (3 Nephi
27:27), and even commands us to “Be ye therefore perfect…” (Matthew 5:48).
That is a daunting standard, and
certainly one, that without clear perspective, could induce perpetual feelings
of inadequacy.
In an October 1976 conference
address entitled, “Notwithstanding My Weakness,” Elder Neal A. Maxwell
explains:
Now may I speak, not to the slackers in
the Kingdom, but to those who carry their own load and more; not to those
lulled into false security, but to those buffeted by false insecurity, who,
though laboring devotedly in the Kingdom, have recurring feelings of falling
forever short.
Earlier disciples who heard Jesus preach
some exacting doctrines were also anxious and said, “Who then can be saved?”
(Mark 10:26.)
The first thing to be said of this feeling
of inadequacy is that it is normal. There is no way the Church can honestly
describe where we must yet go and what we must yet do without creating a sense
of immense distance.
This distance is certainly not
lost on the Lord, which is why the bulk of his teachings provide us with further
perspective.
Basic gospel doctrine teaches us
that we are immortal beings, and that our time on earth is meant to be a time
of testing, and training. Opposition is
a necessary part of that training, which opposition includes challenges,
temptations, and weakness.
We further understand that our
God is a God of mercy, who has graven us upon His very palms (see 1 Nephi 21:16),
that life’s challenges are not meant merely as punishment, but rather, function
as essential tools to lead us to him, and shape us into glorious, perfect
beings. In the scriptures, He reminds us,
“I give unto men weakness that they may be humble” (Ether 12:27), that in our
weakness, “[we shall] be made strong” (Ether 12:37), indeed that the “very jaws
of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after [us]…that all these things shall
give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good” (D&C 122:7).
Have you ever seen those Iron
Chef-style cooking shows, where the contestants are given an unknown
ingredient, or combination of ingredients, and they have limited amount of time
to create something spectacular to wow the often harsh and discerning judges? I’m always amazed by what the top chefs are
able to create under such pressure, especially given what seems, to me, like
such an impossible combination of ingredients.
Perhaps even more impressive than their ability to concoct incredible
dishes, is their flexibility. So often,
you watch and something goes wrong – something doesn’t set, or they drop a pan,
or something burns, and you figure they’re out.
They’ve failed. They won’t be
able to recover from that. Yet, the best
chefs always adapt, and despite the opposition, still manage to create
something wonderful.
I think the Lord is like that
master chef when it comes to His involvement in our lives and habits. It doesn’t matter what He’s given, He knows
what to do with it. Sometimes – MANY
times – things go wrong; through our agency, or that of others, things don’t
turn out like we’d planned, we make mistakes, or sometimes we even have to
start over. But like top chefs, the Lord
doesn’t throw everything out and walk away, but, rather, He adapts, showing us,
maybe, what to add and what to take away, what requires more, or less cooking
time, etc. to the recipe just right.
In that sense, I would submit
that there is NO ingredient - no habit, no weakness, or no addiction that can
truly keep us from progressing. There is nothing the Lord cannot use for our
gain, to shape us and mold us, with one caveat:
we have to keep trying.
The Lie: Trying Isn’t Enough
And this is where the LIE comes
in.
I may regret this, but I’m going
to do something I swore I’d never do: I’m
going to reference Star Wars in a sacrament meeting talk.
You may remember the scene in the
Empire Strikes Back, where Luke has
met with Yoda to try and learn how to use the force, and it’s really hard. At one point he’s trying to raise his sunken
ship out of the swamp, but he isn’t having much luck. He’s getting is frustrated, Yoda is
frustrated. Yoda gives Luke some sage advice,
to which Luke responds, “Alright, I’ll give it a try.” Yoda rather abruptly and sternly corrects
him, saying, “No. Try not. Do. Or do
not. There is no try.”
Now, I hate to say it, but Master
Yoda got it wrong. Don’t get me wrong, I
love Yoda. He’s just not very good at 2
Truths and a Lie, because the lie is that trying isn’t enough: there is no try.
Satan would have us mistakenly
believe that we are not good enough until we have become – until we have
reached the goal, kicked the habit, or what have you.
But this is contrary to the nature
of God, at least the God I know.
Remember, he reminds us, “I will
be merciful unto your weakness” (D&C 38:14). He requires us to forgive “…until 70 times 7”
(D&C 98:40) because that’s what He would do, and that’s what He does do for us. And He tells us repeatedly in the scriptures
to keep going, to endure, to press forward (see 2 Nephi 31:20), to “continue as
[we] commenced” (D&C 9:5), to remember, to “be not weary” (D&C
64:33). To try.
I had an experience last week
that reminded me of this. In my home, I
often struggle being patient with my children.
We’d had a few difficult days at home and one morning, as I was trying
to get everyone out the door amid meltdowns and bickering, I was losing
it. Frustrated, I texted Aaron, “Dealing
with the chaos day after day is exhausting!”
I sent the text and I looked down
at it, and immediately had the thought, “Heavenly Father never feels exhausted
with you.” That revelation stopped me in
my tracks. In that moment, I thought
about how often I’ve repeated the same mistakes, how often I’ve gone to the
Lord (or failed to go to Him) having a meltdown, and how child-like I was in my
relationship with Him.
It was a powerful teaching moment
between me and Lord because, first of all, it was a wonderful, gentle reminder
that perhaps I could be a little more patient with my kids. But it was also confirmation of the very
point I’m trying to make: that with all
of us God is infinitely patient; infinitely merciful. He’s a God of chances. He is a God of trying, because it is in the
trying that we become.
Truth #2: Heavenly Father is a God of Love
This experience also reminded me
of one more lesson, which is my final truth in “Two Truths and a Lie”: That
Heavenly Father is a God of love and He uses that love to motivate us.
In the past, I may have walked
away from that experience the same as I would have in approaching this topic –
with guilt, or shame, feeling like a failure.
But I didn’t. I left feeling
hope.
I recognized that although I feel
like I struggle daily with being patient, I am trying. And so are my kids. We mess up a lot, but we do a lot of things
right. We haven’t given up and as long
as we continue to try, we are right where the Lord wants us to be.
For me, that knowledge is
incredibly motivating.
Look How Far You’ve Come!
Let me share one final story.
I do a bit of running. About a year and a half ago, I ran a
marathon. When I started training, the
furthest I’d run was 6 miles, and at that particular time I could only do about
3. But I had about 9 months to train,
and it was on my bucket list, so I decided to go for it.
Training was challenging. It required a great deal of time, pushing
through occasional soreness, and even some injury. But it was also exciting,
particularly when my weekly runs started to extend beyond my 6-mile record. Every time I’d complete a new, longer
distance, I had a ritual of congratulating myself, telling myself, sometimes
out loud, “This is further than I’ve ever run before.”
The day I ran 10 miles for the
first time, I had an interesting, and somewhat unexpected experience. I was actually in Layton that day, visiting
my in-laws for the holidays. It was
about this time of year, and it was cold and snowy. Coming from balmy San Diego, I did NOT want
to run that day, but I needed to get the miles in, so I did.
About 2/3 of the way through my
run, I was feeling really good and I started thinking about how amazing it was
that I was really doing it – I was out in the cold, running TEN miles. Double digits. I remember thinking about how I’d started out
only able to run 3 miles, and in my mind said, “Wow! Look how far I’ve come!”
In that moment, God spoke to my
heart in my own words. In a split
second, I thought about my life, and I thought about my challenges and my
testimony, and how they had changed me, and it was as if He was saying to me,
“Wow! Look how far you’ve come! You’re
doing it. I’m so proud of you. Keep going.”
As I reflected on that
experience, I realized that God didn’t only want to tell me where I needed to
improve, but that sometimes, he wanted to show me what I was doing right.
Since that time, I have asked Him
many times, “Heavenly Father, please help me to see in myself what you see in
me. Please help me to know what I’m
doing that pleases you. Please show me
what I am doing right.” And He has
because He loves me, and that love keeps me trusting and trying.
You Are Enough
Brothers and sisters, let me
close with what I know to be true: God
has a plan for us, and that although that plan includes challenges and
weaknesses, we need not despair. Our Heavenly
Father loves us, and can help us feel of that love, even as we try and fail,
and try and fail again.
If you are not there, I urge you
not to give up. Don’t let your
discouragement lull you into complacency and distance you from your Heavenly
Father. Keep pressing forward, even if
you’re only taking baby steps, trusting that with each step, God is molding you
into who He wants you to be – and that, for Him, is enough. You are enough.
I love Him. I know He loves me. I am grateful for that love because it is
through that love that He is shaping me into the best version of myself I can
be. I like the person I am today so much better than who I was because of my challenges - because those
struggles have taught me to know Him, and trust in Him in ways I never had before. I’m at that 10-mile mark in my life, knowing
even though I have a long way to run, I have run farther than I ever have
before because of Him, and I trust that He will continue to help me until I
cross the finish line, as I know He will for all of us.
In the name of Jesus Christ,
Amen.
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