Merry Christmas!

No times seem dearer than those with family at Christmas -- all the more as we celebrated by sharing our testimonies of Christ and our hopes in Him.

It also doesn't hurt that Santa came.

Merry Christmas to all (and to all a good night)!

5 Days Until Christmas!

There was a period of years when I stopped believing in Santa Claus. Santa knows this, and from my discussions with him, I know he holds me blameless. It was actually my Dad's fault.

Many Christmases ago I wrote Santa a letter. I'd written faithfully every year, but never quite gotten what I'd hoped for from him on Christmas morning. So on this particular year I tried a different strategy -- threatening Santa Claus:

Dear Santa,

I really want a VCR for Christmas. In fact, if I don't get one, I'm going to stop believing in you.

Yours Truly,
Aaron

Not long after my Dad sat me down for a little chat. My letter lay open on the table. I was aghast -- it was supposed to have been sent to the North Pole! He then told me flat out: "There is no Santa Claus and you're not getting a VCR." He said there was no money for one, to which I pointed out that I was asking Santa, not my parents, for the VCR.

I cried angrily that he'd read Santa's letter and wondered how I could go on. There was no comfort in return, only an admonition not to spoil it for the rest of the kids.

Only years and years later was my faith in jolly old Saint Nick restored -- when President Faust spoke of him at the 1999 Christmas Devotional and noted the similarities between Santa Claus and Christ. Not long after I found means to speak to Santa himself, who frankly forgave me (I had, after all attempted to extort presents from him) and we both lamented the actions of my father. We mused on the presents I might have had if I'd but believed in those intervening years. He then deftly deflected my hints that I should then get all of those lost gifts at the following Christmas, noting: It's the season that comes only once a year.

Santa also noted that retribution against my father would be swift. From reports, Santa instructed my grandparents (on my mother's side) to make sure that he got a tin of pretzels for Christmas (and Dad hates pretzels).

6 Days Until Christmas!

Inadvertent consequence of the Christmas season number 36: Jared now knows about whips. Yukon Cornelius has a whip in Rudolph the Rednose Reindeer, and Santa just happens to have whip for the reindeer in the book The Polar Express.

Consequently we've had to instruct Jared on the etiquette of whipping: when it is and is not appropriate. For example, it is ok to whip reindeer if you're driving Santa's sleigh (or a dogsled). It is not ok to whip Emily, or even to threaten to whip Emily.

And yet, despite our best efforts, the notion of "whipping" has found its way into our home.

7 Days Until Christmas

Somehow I'd forgotten what a guantlet of goodies the workplace can be at Christmas time. I fear there's little hope for me over the next few days.

Jared wrote a letter to Santa Claus tonight (with a little help). Knowing that Santa monitor's this blog, I did not think it wrong to make the contents of Jared's letter available to the jolly old elf through this medium:

18 December 2006

Dear Santa,

My name is Jared. Here is what I want for Christmas (I turn 3 on Christmas Day):

• The monkey that goes "like this" (on all fours);
• A tiger;
• A black good knight, and his horse and sword;
• A big momma giraffe
• A shark
• A cow
• A dinosaur
• A lion -- A daddy lion ( so he can fight the other lions)
• A snowman
• A Jessie Doll; a Zurg doll (a BIG, BIG Zurg from Toys-R-Us); a woody doll (even though I already have one;
• A Batman Dog
• The purple monkey at Toys-R-Us
• 2 More Buzz Light Years (even though I already have 2).

I've been really good this year Santa. I promise.
Love,
Jared
[Parent's note to Santa: Santa, you needn't worry. We told Jared tonight that even the best children only get 2 presents at most from Santa. Please note, however, that these restrictions do not hold true for the parent. Accordingly, on account of my exceeding goodness this year I am expecting everything on my list. Thanks Santa!]

8 Days Until Christmas

I wrote this a few years ago. It is certainly the work of an amateur, but it is mine.

Peace on Earth, Good will toward men
So peel the Christmas bells
Whose voice and song to hearts belong
And truth the Spirit tells

They toll the birth of Christ the King
And wake man’s deep desire
To reach within, and with his kin
Rejoice with heavn'ly choirs.

That we too could with them sing praise
And wintry souls refine
That we might show and He might know
Gratitude for gifts divine.

Let my soul sing! and with those bells
Proclaim His royal birth
And with that, then, good will toward men

And peace throughout the Earth

The Italian Stallion

Last night I was perusing some early reviews of Rocky Balboa – the unbelievable sixth installment of the franchise. They range from outright mockery to being pleasantly surprised. While I was reading, I got an unexpected email from a longtime friend asking me my thoughts on the new movie.

Of course, it’s utterly preposterous. But then, who cares! Anyone looking for anything realistic would’ve had to stop half-way through the first Rocky.*

Now admittedly, when I first heard this movie was coming out I laughed. (I’m still smarting from Rocky V – which never happened).** But after seeing the trailer, and finding out it comes out the day my brother Matt (a fellow Rocky enthusiast) returns from his mission in Mongolia. If that’s not a sign, then I don’t know what is. Besides, the trailer hits just the right notes -- and there seems to be a possibility of another glorious training montage set to music half-inspiring and half-corny. Even the possibility alone is worth the price of admission.

So I’ll see you in the theater on the 22nd. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to work out to the Rocky IV Soundtrack.

[Editor's note: The author indeed finished blogging and almost immediately thereafter logged 10 miles on the exercise bike, burning 566 calories in 26:13 -- all while churning to the Rocky IV soundtrack. I defy you to show me a better sound track to work out to].


*Let us count the ways of improbability: (1) Rocky: Rocky was already in his early to mid 30’s back in 1976; (2) Rocky II: Rocky is half-blind at the beginning of the movie. Mick slaps him—tells him Creed will cave in the left side of his face but that all goes away after Creed calls Rocky a “chicken” and Adrian emerges from her coma (and it never comes back); Rocky is also apparently mildly retarded (Stallone seemed to take that angle a little too far—even for a Rocky movie), but that went away after Adrian’s coma too because he read her a book; (3) Rocky III: Rocky and Clubber Lang inexplicably cross paths during pre-fight preparations, which causes Mick to have a heart attack (and die), but Rocky still decides to fight (and get creamed); Rocky later loses a 200 yard footrace to Apollo Creed by 50 yards when he starts training for real (though without the Eye of the Tiger), but, after he gets the Eye of the Tiger back, he wins; (4) Rocky IV: Rocky ends the Cold War by the 11th Round against Ivan Drago (after losing the KGB and running up a mountain side); Rocky V (which never happened): Paulie is somehow authorized to sign away power of attorney for Rocky and Adrian?! (and then they lose everything).
**This notion was first proposed by the Sports Guy, who writes for ESPN Page 2.

Symbol of the Season

In the Clark home*, Christmas is the most anticipated time of year. Any questions as to why should be easily answered by studying the picture below:



Behold, The 1 lb. Gilliam's Barber Pole! [I know, it's hard to take your eyes off it].
As far as I can tell, this Barber Pole is at least 10 years old -- perhaps as old as 15. If you look closely, you'll see the price tag is still on the top. It's from a store in Upstate New York that hasn't been around for at least a decade. Yet here it is, taking up precious space in our San Diego apartment.
My brother Nathan bought this giant piece of candy in a post Christmas sale -- he always preferred to buy the Barber Poles because he could make them last the whole year [for the which we thought him nuts -- since nobody in their right mind wants to be eating candy canes year round.] He apparently thought it was important enough to store while he was on his mission. Then, several years ago, he inexplicably gave it to us as a Christmas gift, and we've been treating it like a family heirloom every since.
That said, I have caught Michelle stealing a few hungry looks at the heirloom in recent days. To avoid any potential temptations, I've determined that she should never be in the same room alone with the Barber Pole -- lest she be overcome.
*By the way, Emily is on her fourth night of sleeping in her crib. We've had so much free time these past few nights that we hardly know what to do with ourselves.

Sweet Dreams

We decided on a bold course of action yesterday: Emily was to fall asleep on her own in her crib.

This may well mean little to you, and perhaps you've even rolled your eyes in reading my tales of sleep deprivation and late night drives with Emily all in an effort to woo her to sleep. We simply could not bear to have her cry herself to sleep if we could help it.

With Jared it was the same -- which lead to many torturous nights and to Jared not learning to sleep through the night until he was a year old. Emily's path started better but taken far worse turns, which has wreaked havoc. And what's more -- her sleeping habits are almost entirely our own fault.

So last night we resolved to leave her alone in her crib for the sake of our sanity. Emily bore it moderately well -- Michelle actually seemed to suffer the most. After a few hours of crying, though, Emily put herself to sleep.

Now we just have to get her to learn to stay asleep.

Oh, and in the meantime, we made a gingerbread house and watched "Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer" and "Frosty the Snowman":

(I'd like to think Jared was listening intently to my tutelage, but he's actually watching the TV)

(Michelle would have you know that she crafted the front. I would have you know that I made sure not a drop of frosting went to waste)

(Almost) A Day Without Christmas

I felt uncharacteriscally cheery this morning as I alighted from the Trolley and made my way to work. In the walk from the Trolley to the Office, I alternated between whistling and singing "Angels We Have Heard On High" but got caught up in singing a part to the chorus (that I love in one of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir versions) that I could no longer remember the melody.

That faded when Michelle called frantically looking for her car keys: She was to take the kids to Disney for the Christmas decorations, parade, and fireworks.

As it happened -- and for reasons I positively cannot account for -- I had taken both sets of keys with me to work. Only after our phone conversation did I discover this, and then had to make the despairing call to relay the news.

If we'd been in Irvine still this wouldn't have been but a small annoyance (since I lived across the street from where I worked). Here in San Diego, though, I commute in nearly an hour by trolley. All seemed lost today, and all seemed to be inadvertently my fault. That was a difficult feeling.

Ah, but this story has a happy ending. Sensing that things couldn't possibly be as hopeless as they appeared at first. I wandered in a daze down the hallway in my office and then queried a few colleagues if anything could be done. A friend of a co-worker offered to drive the keys back to our home, and only an hour or so was lost.

Santa must have been watching.

PS--Michelle says the Christmas Parade and Fireworks were well worth the trip.

It's a Wonderful Life

What do you do when you have a five month old daughter that doesn't go to sleep until near midnight most nights, and otherwise wants to be held and walking around the rest of the time (and this has been going on for three weeks)? Well, you certainly don't blog. In fact, you don't to get to do much of anything but wait and hope.

In other news, Michelle won a $25 Target gift card in a drawing at our community tree lighting ceremony yesterday. This was wonderful news -- especially since, before the drawing, I wisely made a deal that if either of us won one of the gift cards, we'd split it. (No comment on whether I'd have held up my end of the bargain if I'd won the gift card). Afterward, we headed straight over to Target to spend our winnings. Since Michelle wasn't enamored with the idea of using the gift card to stock up on Mint M&Ms (which were on sale for $2), we opted to finally purchase It's a Wonderful Life and White Christmas on DVD. Jared also got the toy hippopotamus he's been eyeing.

Maybe Emily will someday give Michelle and I a moment to watch these movies without requiring one of us to be up and walking -- carrying her around.