Ninth Annual Clark Family Milkshake Making Contest

Amid all of the candy canes and sugar cookies, we held the Ninth Annual Clark Family Milkshake Making Contest today. Despite a record 17 entrants, and a field of milkshakes as elaborate and innovative as any we've ever seen, the final standings had some familiar faces with Michelle winning her third consecutive milkshake title with a key lime pie shake. Bryan took home second place with a coconut cream pie milkshake, finishing only a point behind Michelle in the standings. Matt, placing for the first time, took home third place with his milkshake "Sludge", a chocolate peanut butter concoction. My shake, Atomic Fireball, did not place, though it did take home the coveted creativity award this year.

Here's a rundown of the milkshakes:

• "Peppermint" by Leanne – Leanne's vanilla-based shake with crush candy canes. Leanne did not talk to reporters after the judges announced the final standings.
• "Chocolate Dream" – Alisha's chocolate-based shake with Oreos, chocolate chips, chocolate syrup, and chocolate sprinkles. The first milkshake to actually reach the judges, they complained it wasn't thick enough.
• "Sludge" – Matt's chocolate-based peanut butter, condensed milk, and Oreo shake. Matt only decided on the shake when his name was called to throw it together. The name seemed to take even less thought. Still, he didn't seem surprised when the judges called his name for 3^rd place, wondering openly why he didn't place higher. The shake was only two points shy of the first place shake, "Key Lime Pie."
• "Key Lime Pie" – Michelle's winning milkshake, a vanilla-based shake boasting condensed milk, lime juice, lime zest, heavy cream, and garnished with a dollop of whipped cream, toasted coconut, and another dash of lime zest. Michelle claims she only came up with the idea the night before, and actually apologized to the family when her name was announced. [Family members actually booed her as she approached to reclaim the trophy. She has now officially become the New York Yankees of the milkshake world.] Her husband, though smarting from not winning himself, is excited the trophy is again headed to San Diego.
• "P.OO.CH Shake" – The title of Leslie's vanilla-based shake stood for peanut butter, Oreos, and chocolate chips. The shake scored well on taste, but apparently wasn't thick enough for the judges' tastes to be able to place.
• "Scottish Delight" – Dad's vanilla based shake with butterscotch (hence the "Scotchish" theme). The shake scored well in creativity.
• "Let Them Eat Cake" – Sarah's vanilla-based shake included Funfetti cake batter, vanilla extract, and chocolate chips. The judges lauded her milkshake, though apparently found it too runny. The shake was runner up for the creativity award, losing out because one of the judges noted Coldstone Creamery has a similar offering.
• "The Great Chocolate Shake" – Jared's second milkshake entry had a chocolate base and included Oreos, a candy cane, chocolate syrup, coconut, and strawberries (I had to stop him at that). Jared's milkshake finished second in the new children's category.
• "Not Your Typical Cookies N' Cream" – Nichole's vanilla-based shake had melted butter, Oreo crumbs, and peppermint extract. A solid entry, though eerily similar to previous shakes she's submitted.
• "Atomic Fireball" – My vanilla-based shake included several drops of Cinnamon Bark Essential Oil and red food coloring. I submitted it knowing it could not win, but feeling duty bound to add it to the pantheon of memorable milkshakes. [Evenso, some laudatory comments from fellow participants managed to get my hopes up for the top prize.] The shake looked and tasted like an Atomic Fireball, though I couldn't get the color a deep enough red, nor could I get the cinnamon "hot" enough. The creativity prize is the first award any milkshake of mine has taken home in the last 6 years.
• "Coconut Cream Pie" – Bryan's vanilla-based milkshake had coconut pudding, toasted coconut, and dulce de leche. Bryan is a perennial top finisher, though an LDS mission to Uruguay kept him out of the last contest. He was magnanimous in defeat, despite losing to Michelle by only a point. The mission seems to have softened him in that regard.
• "Strawberry Peachy Surprise" – James' vanilla-based milkshake boasted frozen strawberries and peaches. A solid entry for James' first ever entry (and his first milkshake contest, for that matter). The judges couldn't seem to taste much peach.
• "Fruit Kind" – Emily's chocolate-based shake had everything from chocolate chips to strawberries, oatmeal cookies, and sprinkles. This was Emily's first entry, and she seemed happy just to be competing.
• "Orange Sunshine" – Mom's vanilla-based shake had orange Crystal Light and mandarin oranges. The shake had a zing to it.
• "Citrus Blast" – Nathan's vanilla-based shake had a lemonade packet, Stephen's Wassail Mix, and a great deal of artificial lemon juice. If "Orange Sunshine" had zing, "Citrus Blast" had zing on steroids. Tasting this shake – which was like Sweet Tart ice cream – perhaps helps explain why we caught him running barefoot outside in the snow yesterday morning.
• "Chocolate Explosion" – Kaylie's chocolate-based shake had peanut butter, Oreos, and chocolate syrup. The shake won the children's division title.
• "Choco-Strawberry" – Carter's chocolate-based shake boasted chocolate and strawberries. Carter's shake rounded out the children's division.

Melissa and Peter (last year's champion and creativity winners) aptly judged this year's contest and largely managed to avoid controversy -- this despite a long history of judicial abuse by disgruntled contestants. The only criticism of today's event came from two sources: (1) Michelle took nearly ½ hour to make her shake; and (2) one of the judges was unusually brutal in some of his critiques. [We may be instituting time limits in future contests as a result.] This was relatively minor compared to the accusations leveled in past years. Three video cameras recorded the event this year, including a camera inside the judges' chambers as they tasted and scored the shakes.

As alluded to above, the field of milkshakes this year was beyond anything I've ever seen in the history of the contest. In fact, Michelle was so giddy about it that she was bouncing around at one point during the contest shouting "I love this family! I love this family!" (I think maybe she'd had a little too much of "Citrus Blast"). It's hard to be sure when we'll get together again for the next contest, but either way, we'll be talking about the milkshakes from today's contest for a long time.